Amature Night!

NYE Sunset Orange Skye, originally uploaded by kiskaicard.

Beautiful day today, I’m sure all the idiots are going to be out tonight though. We’re just going to be staying in. Rob has been deathly ill and can use the night just to chill’lax. Here’s my favorite New Year’s Eve story. About 5 years ago, I was sitting in the Castro Street Muni Station, waiting for the L. A homeless “looking” woman comes and sits to my left. She has this huge nasty blonde wig on, with all these little braided pony tails sticking out of it. Well I guess it got too hot, ‘cause she took it off and placed it in her lap while she scratched her head.

Next came walking up and parking his ass on my right, is this “normal” looking guy, carrying a box of Satsuma tangerines. He’s wasted! He asks me if this is the stop for the L, because he never takes the train. I said yes, and thanked him for taking the train this evening. Then I noticed that he started to fixate on the woman’s wig. He leans over to me and in great NYE speech slur says to the woman, “Hey, that’ssss a cute dog. Can I pet your dawg?” The woman just stiffens in her seat. He then grabs her shirt and repeats, “Hey, I like your dog, can I pet your dog?” I can see her start to get red with anger, and I’m afraid I’m about to be in the middle of a homeless-drunken fight. I lean into the man and say, “It’s not a dog, it’s her hair!” He looks confused, and then I repeat, “It’s not a dog it’s a wig”, and pull on my hair to demonstrate. Then he gets it and starts laughing, and slurring “Shhhhh, it’s a wig.” All this for only the cost of a Muni ride. God I love this city!